See You In Hell!

Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Props to Nick

While doing my usual bloggy lurking this morn, I came across a post from an awesome cat (or tiger) who will be marrying a fav chica of mine this November. It just really captured the fucked-upness of the SD insanity.

Sunday, February 26, 2006

Knuckling under to Sister pressure: "Siete by Amycita"

Seven things I want to do before I die:
OK right now I kinda want to die b/c I have a head/back ache so I am gonna come back to this list later...

Let's start with 7 movies that I think are much better than Cats and I want to see again and again:

1. The Wedding Singer (just saw this again yesterday)
2. The Princess Bride
3. Office Space
4. DodgeBall
5. Harry Potter
6. Heathers (although it has been awhile since I have watched this one)
7. Goonies

Books I love:
1. Harry Potter (all of them)
2.anything by Jodi Piccoult (so far; haven't read all of hers yet)
3. almost anything by Tom Robbins (didn't love Another Roadside Attraction; loved everything else though)
4. Bridget Jones' Diary & Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason
5. Sue Grafton's Kinsey Milhone mysteries ( A through S) and Sarah Paretsky's VI Warshawski mysteries--they kick ass, AND they get ass.
6. Operating Instructions by Anne Lamott
7. Dave Barry Slept Here, Dave Barry's Only Travel Guide You'll Ever Need and the Dave Barry computer book(I forgot the title...)

7 Things that attract me to blogging:

1. Karicita's blog is a running narrative into the mind of my best friend and that makes me feel close to her and therefore happy!
2. Reading/Viewing things that make me laugh out loud
3. It feels taboo to look at it at work--and I like that!
4. Shameless self-aggrandizement!
5.Knowing that other people think the same, twisted thoughts that I do, and somehow they are surviving out in society, so I can make it too!
6. Access to opinions of people I might never otherwise meet, and if I did meet them, we might not exchange such witty banter b/c of social etiquette--and that being said, I like that the blog reminds me to say etiquette? schmetiquette! and say what I think in the hopes of finding other like-minded people.
7.Fear that someone will track me down and file a suit (is that how you spell that kind of suit?) against me and end my teaching career--oh no wait, that's what I HATE about it...

7 things I CANNOT do:
1. Snowboard (or bobsled or luge, for that matter...)
2. live without cats in my home!
3. stop drinking coffee/caffeinated beverages
4. last for more than a few days on less than 8 hours of sleep each night
5. chew and swallow raw celery
6. wear uncomfortable clothes/shoes for more than 5 minutes (i.e: tight waistbands, restrictive blazers, ANY uncomfortable shoes)
7. Drive in any kind of traffic without getting just a little bit road rage-y.

7 Things I say most often:
1. Dude & cool ( I know,they are tired, worn out and lame, but they are stuck in there, sorry)
2. Jub Jub
3. Gracias
4. Me Gusta (said like two separate words: Me. Gusta.)
5. You can do it (said like Rob Schneider in Water Boy--I use this exclusively at school when teaching my students)
6. WhadidIsay? (said like Shamika Latifah Boqueefa(etc)--y'know, that character on Mad TV who is that stereotypical ghetto black girl and you roll the d like an r? Incidentally, I ACTUALLY heard a woman say that in real life and I don't think she was making a joke either!!)
7. Jesus fucking christ

RIP sayings: These are fun things I used to say with my Newton teacher buddies; I miss them and the sayings: takeiteez, No you didn't (said like we were black), "aaand, we're done"

OK, my headache meds and coffee with Bailey's have kicked in so I no longer feel like dying and can therefore commence with the things to do before I die list(prior to this, the list could only have included stuff I could do in 5 minutes like, lay down, moan, pet a cat etc.):
1. Travel to Europe and the UK again--also, Australia and Hawaii
2. Figure out a second career I can do so when I burn out on this one I don't have to do it half assed for 20 more years
3. Have a kid (?) maybe, yes, I don't know...
4. Learn to love how I look and not always wish I was thinner
5. Find a group of people to play in a band with for fun--also learn to play guitar a lot better!
6. Go to a Spanish speaking country for a few months (at least) and get my language skills on!
7. Get together with my distant friends & relatives as often as possible: for ex: Ariadma, Kari, Jege and Em, Garla & Jim, my Newton peeps (Anndy, Zach, Matty...) old Carleton friends (Griffin, Em Moerer and Ben Black...) Nicky (the best man at our wedding), & Alecia (she lives in Chicago, so we're going to go see her pretty soon I think)

Wow, I really liked that last list! It made me feel kind of uplifted or something. Of course, when the day to day drudgery gets me down, I wonder if the list will uplift me or cruelly mock my pain? We'll see.

OK, now here are 7 people whose lists o' seven I would want to read:
1. Karicita
2. Garla Lou (AKA mom)
3. Jimbo (AKA Dad)
4. Jub Jub (AKA Rob)
5-7 Basically any of my friends' lists; but they don't all read this blog or have their own so OK, here's one more thing to do before I die (or, like, this weekend): send an email to these friends with my blog address. But I fear rejection: what if I send it to them and no one comments or indicates in anyway that they have read the blog? That would suck.

Friday, February 24, 2006


Seven Things To Do Before I Die:
1. Spend some time in a canoe on the boundary waters (STILL haven't gotten there yet)
2. Re-pierce something at some point
3. Run a marathon (eek, already did a half, but it'd be cool to do a full)
4. Travel more (Ireland, Scotland, France, Iceland, Australia, New Zealand, Mexico, Africa, etc...)
5. Birth and raise a couple of munchkins
6. Become more comfortable with power tools
7. Get the balance of a goat (Dylan has amazing balance and never slips or falls while hiking. I'd like to get better at that and be more 'goat-like')

Seven Things I Cannot Do:
1. Tell a doctor, "oh, whatever you think, let's just do that" without hearing my 17 options first
2. Draw in a straight line
3. Listen to W talk for more than 3 minutes without getting really pissed
4. Tan
5. Do yoga without getting angry or annoyed
6. Drink lots of wine, eat sushi or really tasty cheeses (until May—at which point I will be thrilled! And drunk…on wine and good cheese!)
7. Put up with stupid people for very long

Seven Things That Attract Me to Blogging:
1. Fun people
2. An interesting way to get a break at work
3. A good way to keep in touch with the fellow LeinGirlz and 'citas' of the world
4. It's a great outlet for ranting and reading other amusing rants
5. It is much more uplifting than reading the newspaper every day
6. Due to the postings of the sisters, it breaks down geographic barriers and makes it seem like Jege and Amycita are never that far away, which is comforting. (Although, they are far enough away where I can safely dodge kleenex boxes and other projectile objects! The best of both worlds :)
7. Great photos and photoshop images

Seven Things I Say Most Often:
1. Snug
2. Mew
3. Neato
4. Frickin’
5. Fuck
6. Mr. bear
7. Prego

Seven Books I Love:
1. Lithium for Medea, Kate Braverman
2. Anything by Douglas Coupland
3. Jitterbug Perfume, Tom Robbins
4. Harry Potter (pretty much all of them)
5. Concrete Island, J.G. Ballard
6. The Handmaid’s Tale, Atwood
7. A Million Little Pieces (JUST KIDDING. Wow. Not even that good of a book. I had to skip parts because it was tedious at times. Also not that realistic at all)

Seven Movies/DVDs That I Can Watch Over and Over Again:
1. Labyrinth
2. The Princess Bride
3. Heathers
4. Singles
5. Pretty in Pink
6. Akira
7. Party Girl

Seven People whose entries I'd like to read (whether they've done it or not--if so, bravo. If not, get off your ass and do it. Or stay on your ass and do it as it's not really an 'active' thing.)
1. Amycita
2. Jege
3. Karicita
4. Crystalcita
5. Loretta (Floyd)
5. Stacycita
6. Dawn(cita?)
7. Newlywifed

The perfect gift for all of you parents out there....

Thanks to Malachi Trizec over at for the image...

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Seven Things meme

Seven Things To Do Before I Die:

1. Write a funny, articulate book.
2. Design a kickass building all on my own, with no boss or “helpful” clients, or overbearing coworkers
3. Have a well-received gallery show of my photographs, paintings, drawings, or sculptures.
4. Go back to Europe and see all the places I missed on my previous trips.
5. Become more patient with and accepting of myself and others (except for those real fucking asshats out there…they can just suck it).
6. Get back into the shape I was when I was 25.
7. Skydive (HA!!! Kidding)

Seven Things I Cannot Do:

1. Disguise my annoyance/impatience/disgust/seething hatred
2. Give blood…or even watch anybody getting a shot or giving blood, even on TV
3. Walk in high heels
4. Dive headfirst into water
5. Be in very small, cramped spaces without starting to freak out
6. Sing in front of a crowd (and I mean FOR REAL singing, not the dorky, silly singing I do all the live-long day, much to the annoyance of my husband)
7. Touch a bug, ANY bug, with my bare hands (I am a serial shoe-smacking bug killer)

Seven Things That Attract Me to Blogging:

1. Great writing!!!
2. Meeting other funny, intelligent people who share my sense of humor and general outlook on life…or who have totally different opinions and experiences that I can learn from
3. Gives me a chance to write creatively, which is about as close to writing an actual book as I will ever come
4. I am awful at writing letters, and I DETEST the phone, so blogging gives me a chance to keep in touch on a daily basis with friends and family
5. Gives me something to look forward to every day.
6. The wonderful friends I’ve made, even though initially I thought that “meeting” people on the internet was creepy and scary, and would result in my severed head bobbing in a river somewhere, and a 20/20 expose on the dangers of meeting people via the internet.
7. See #4

Seven Things I Say Most Often:

1. Fuck
2. Shit
3. Goddamn it
4. Asshole
5. Meow
6. Stupid idiot shitass
7. I feel sick/my back hurts/I’m tired

Seven Books I Love:

1. High Rise, JG Ballard
2. Anything by David Sedaris
3. Anything by Laurie Notaro or Wendy McClure
4. The life and times of the last kid picked, David Benjamin
5. Demian, Herman Hesse
6. Without Feathers/Getting Even/ Side Effects, Woody Allen
7. Harry Potter !!!!!!!

Seven Movies/DVDs That I Can Watch Over and Over Again:

1. Heathers
2. The Princess Bride
3. Shaun of the Dead
4. Office Space
5. South Park-Bigger, Longer & Uncut
6. The Shining
7. Harry Potter !!!

Seven People I Want To Join In Who I Don't Think Have Done This Yet (unless you’ve already done it, in which case I apologize profusely for not paying attention to your fabulous entries):

1. Amycita
2. eM
3. Crystal
4. Karicita
5. Foash
6. Lisa
7. Dawn

Monday, February 20, 2006

Lein Girlz 3

Lein Girlz 3

Open season on misery and self-indulgent (sp? jesus fuck ! I can't even spell anymore...) complaints. WTF: I got itchy. All over. So bad it woke me up at night about a week ago. Since then, violent spurts of itchiness for no apparent reason. I have scratched so much I am bruised. (I think I must also be anemic or have leukemia b/c bruising from scratching seems unnatural, AND a friend I worked with in Newton up and died fr0m previously undiagnosed leukemia like a week after she went to the doctor complaining of unexplained bruises and bleeding gums. She was like, 25 years old!) I went to a dermatologist and got a mildly helpful hydrocortisone shot, have been taking benadryl a lot and got some slightly helpful cream. It doesn't really stop the itching, but now when I itch, I put on cream instead of just scratching. OK so sometimes I "scratch" on the cream but it feels sooo goooood! The only thing I can think of is that the new miracle drug that makes my life worth living (Ritalin) is somehow backfiring and causing me to itch like a crack addict. I guess I can be a crack addict as long as I am not sleeping continually and feeling lethargic and uninterested in life. I'm in a weird place right now. I stopped taking the Ritalin for a few days (boy did THAT suck: I slept tons and/or felt really sad and crappy) and now I decided that since the itching has calmed down slightly, I wanted to try to feel like a human again, so I took half the dose yesterday. And felt about half human. Today I took the full dose and feel better, but am also now freaking out because I have felt so crappy and this is the only thing that makes me feel OK and I don't like that because it makes me feel panicky b/c what if the itching comes back full force and I have to stop taking the Ritalin. Yada yada yada. I am sick of myself. Also, unstructured time is not my friend. And it is blisteringly cold so outdoor exercise makes me feel like those idiots who climb mount everest. But I did see 5 deer the other day. That was nice. Also, the new Sue Grafton S is for Sucks to be Sick (or Silence) was good.

Sunday, February 19, 2006

Has anyone seen my back?

On Wednesday morning, the day after I got back from my weekly death, I mean business trip to California, I woke up and could not move. My back had officially "Gone Out". Where did it go? Fuck if I know. But it had obviously had enough of my shit, and hopped a plane for points unknown (and if I know my back, it is probably sipping a Guinness somewhere in Ireland right now).

I missed 3 days of work, and am now scheduled for a double epidural steroid injection (a horrifying little outpatient procedure) on this coming Thursday.

And the worst part of it all? All of the stuff piling up at work. I hate feeling so fucking guilty about things that are beyond my control. It's stupid, and it only hurts me. Christ, I sound like a fucking Afterschool Special: "Jege, you're only hurting yourself."

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

We "saw" baby kick!

Okay, it's one thing to 'feel' the baby kick. It's a whole other world to actually see it move. Pretty freaky and strange, but wow, also extremely cool. I'm not looking forward to baby kicking bad places, which I've heard can happen, but at the moment, this is pretty fucking wild.

Little Pookette is due in 3 months and 6 days.

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Baby eM is having a baby!

In honor of my niece-to-be, here's a baby picture of eM. Wasn't she adorable?! Let's just hope that her daughter has more hair! :)

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Wherein Jege is annoyed

For the past 3 days, the sun (yes, I said the SUN) has been shining on Portland. And, just like previously frozen box elder bugs on winter's windowsill, the crazy homeless people are slowly stirring and coming to life.

They congregate in a plaza across the street from where I work, and I can hear them (even without opening my window) SINGING ALONG with the sirens from passing police cars, fire trucks, car alarms, etc.

I can only hope that they don't attempt a duet with the mid-afternoon leaf-blower dude.

Sunday, February 05, 2006

Photoshop phun...

As a child of psychotherapists, I remember seeing the book "I'm OK, You're OK" on my parents' bookshelf of psychology-related books, and I always thought that this would be a better title. And now, thanks to photoshop, it is.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

pretty shiny vroom vroom....

This is my rental car from my business trip yesterday. It is a Jaguar.
After driving 2 minutes in it, I came to the conclusion that my 1994 Toyota Tercel sucks ass.
I also came to the realization that, never in a million years will I be able to afford a vehicle like this. It was a bittersweet moment. And then I floored it and blew by some assfuck in a BMW.

Fun video! (and it's not porn)

I was just blog-hopping and saw the funnest thing on redhotmama's blog. It's the new video by Pink and it's called Stupid Girls. You can see it at Just search for stupid girl and the video will come up.

Damn!!! I just love this. The song is a kind of dippy pop song, but I'll probably download it so I can listen to it while on the treadmill (weakness for fun pop songs while walking and running inside). It's just super fun and the video is beautiful.