See You In Hell!

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

I hate " 1 in 4 "...

I am now officially a member of that prestigious club, "one in four people will fall victim to credit card fraud".

Yes, while I was on a business trip yesterday I attempted to use my company-issued credit card (for business trips only, obviously) and it was declined. TWICE. When I called work to find out what gives, I learned that somebody had charged upwards of $600 at various places around Portland, including almost $200 at some video game store. The credit card company assumed they were fraudulent charges, and cancelled the card. Thank fucking GOD.

The part I cannot figure out is that I still have the card IN MY POSSESSION. And all of these charges occurred on Sunday, May 28, while I was at home recovering from the NIN concert the night before. Did I mention that the card never left my possession? WTF?!!!!!!!

And. AND!!!! I have only ever used the card on business trips. Meals at the airport. Gas for the rental car. Cab rides home. And some of the other fraudulent charges were at places like ATMs, which require an actual, physical CARD, not just skimmed numbers. I am baffled. And filled with murderous rage towards the fuckers who ripped me off. I am going to do all I can to find the perpetrators, and then slowly remove their balls with a can opener.

Monday, May 29, 2006

Tales from the 'hood, part deux...

Remember this post from back on May 1: ?

Well this morning, the cop cars were stacked up on the right of us. Up-and-coming neighborhood, my ass.

Head like a hole..

Yes, it was WONDERFUL!!! I even liked Trent's new shaved head look. The only bad part: I gave myself whiplash with all of the jumping about. I'm not kidding; my neck hurts worse than when I actually had whiplash back in 1996. But it was so worth it (this time, not the 1996 thing). Also, Bauhaus rocked!!! Peter Murphy's voice is still divine.

Friday, May 26, 2006

And the photos for today are....

..drum roll.....My niece Elliott!!! What a shocker, eh?

Thursday, May 25, 2006

Have you seen this man?

A few of you may remember this post from back on April 24.

As it turns out, the Police haven't caught the guy yet, and officials are concerned that he may have changed his appearance to avoid detection. Below are some artist's renderings of what the suspect may look like now. Please study them carefully, and contact police if you have any information on his whereabouts. Do not attempt to apprehend the suspect yourself, or try and remove any of his hats without police backup.

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

More Elliott (so I'm a proud aunt, so sue me!)

In this first pic, she looks like her grandma Gail when she is totally fucking pissed off.

A tender moment with daddy Dyl-bear

Little Elliott, expressing her anger towards the Man.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

More Elliott pix!

Monday, May 22, 2006

Wherein Giuseppe is a shithead

On Saturday morning, my cat Giuseppe somehow got the attic door open and ran up the stairs, heading immediately for the blown-in fiberglass insulation near the edges.
When the hubby finally caught him, he was fucking COVERED in fiberglass. And when we finally got done cleaning him up, WE were covered in fiberglass.

Here is a picture of the little bastard.

Then later that day after an all day drinking/BBQ extravaganza, my friend Francis fell off the deck and landed in the chive garden.

That is all.

Friday, May 19, 2006

Presenting Elliott Agnes !!!

Math/Sex ed Lesson

Here's a possible lesson for me to teach my classes. We'll be doing circumference, diameter and radius next week. So, I'll give them the circumference 13.25 inches and have them calculate the diameter by dividing by pi. Then divide by 2 to get the radius. Then we'll draw a 3-d sphere with the same radius and I'll have the girls imagine giving birth to that sphere! Maybe it will deter teenage pregnancy AND teach math. Or maybe I'll get fired.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Some sacreligious entertainment while we wait for the baby pictures:

jesus has gum

IT'S A GIRL !!!!!!!!!

Em had the baby this morning!!! And she did it totally naturally, with no epidural or anything! WOW!

My first blood-relative niece's name is Elliott Agnes Lein Bijnagte, and she weighed in at 6lbs 5 oz. She was 20.5" long, and had a huge noggin - 13.25" in circumference!

Pictures to follow soon!! Congrats to my little sister!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Saturday, May 13, 2006

Belated photo friday

Holga Polaroid with fisheye lens and type 87 film

Personally, I prefer this version (scanned paper negative):

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Finally, a chance to use that dirty mind...

This morning I was thinking about all of the architectural and construction terminology that, although benign and asexual, actually sounds pretty dirty. At least to me.

For example, wouldn't you giggle if someone started talking to you about Caulk Shrinkage? How about Threaded Brass Nipples? Hose Bibbs? Double-Hung Windows? Erection Aids? Perhaps.....Sill Cocks? HMMMM? No? Wait a minute, I know: BALL PLUNGERS!!!

Anyway, your challenge is to list as many words and/or expressions that sound dirty, but really aren't.

Annnnnnnnnddddddd go.

Happy Birthday Kari !!!

31 years ago today, an absolutely awesome woman, Kari , entered this world and has been making it a funkier place ever since.

Mad props and love to the Kari-cita!

Friday, May 05, 2006

Leingirlz Photo Friday: Adventures in Autostitch

Click on the image to see it bigger, and click on the link below to read my Flickr notes:

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Hey Crystal, Katie wants in on the Big Flip-Off...

Monday, May 01, 2006

Tales from the 'hood

This morning, when I was just about ready to hop on my bike and pedal my merry way to work, I noticed that something was, well, Off in my neighborhood.

And by "off", I mean 11 cop cars, one fire truck and an ambulance at the house on the corner, a mere two houses away from Chez Jege. This is the same house where the driver of what we like to call "The Pussy Wagon" lives ( ) and 2 houses down from the House of the Godawful Fountain: But I digress.

The entire yard was crime taped-off, and a couple of cops were interviewing an obviously shaken young woman. I pulled my bike up to one of the 1700 cops that were "securing the area" (ie, standing around), and asked in a nice neighborly, non-threatening way, "Hi! What's going on?". But alas, they wouldn't tell me. I can only imagine that it was some sort of breakfast squabble gone horribly wrong (I scanned the area for the telltale signs of splattered Malt-o-Meal and grapefruit halves, but found none. Damn, those crime scene cleanup crews are thorough).

Anyway, here's a voyeuristic photo from my living room window:

Happy May Day....NOT.