See You In Hell!

Friday, April 28, 2006

Leingirlz Photo Friday:

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Okay Crystal, here's my Blue Steel:

Go to to see what the fuck I'm talking about.

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Wonder Showzen

Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU to Julie_Gong for introducing me to Wonder Showzen.


Me & the husband in full cheesehead regalia. What is even more puzzling is that neither of us likes football.

Monday, April 24, 2006


Newberg's Police Station has the world's worst sketch artist:

Friday, April 21, 2006

In lieu of Jege's photo Friday....

Here's a picture of some kittens in cups:

Thursday, April 20, 2006

Well, that's shitty....

I am a colon!
Find your own pose!

Survey of the day!

If you worked in an office that had cubes (not a freaked out cube farm, but a bit cubey), would you:

a. Listen to music with headphones because not doing so would make you a heinous rude person.

b. Not listen to music because hey, if you've got any motivation (i.e. not prego), you're working.

c. Play your music just at that point so that others can hear some annoying-as-all-hell whiney tune, but can't quite make it out, furthering their desire that you get the flu or are transferred so they don't have to deal with your inability to accept that other people actually exist, you toxic excuse for a person.

If you picked C, then you are possibly in my office and I may have to hunt you down and make you suffer. If you see a cranky pregnant woman approaching your cube, run!

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Can you feel the love...

This morning, while getting ready for work, the following conversation transpired between my husband & I:

Me: Are you taking the car today?

Him: * from inside the shower* No.

Me: But don't you have a site visit?

Him: *exhaling loudly* NO.

Me: But I thought you had a site meeting every other Wednesday?

Him: *exhaling even more loudly & annoyedly, if that is a word* If you paid any attention to me, you would know that it's next Wednesday, not this Wednesday.

Me: *ripping the shower curtain back and staring at him* THERE. I'm fucking paying attention to you NOW. Can you see? Huh? Can you SEE that I'm paying attention to you?!!!

Him: *sighing* If you paid any attention to me, you would know that I have soap in my eyes.

Me: *growling, and returning to my "getting ready for work" chores, and eventually forgetting about his previous utterance* Did I tell you that I sat next to a guy on the plane yesterday who was both a farter AND a whistler?

Him: *silently continues showering*

Me: WELL?!!

Him: If you paid any attention to me, you would know that I'm not paying any attention.

Monday, April 17, 2006

Less than 5 weeks to go

to the due date. Freaky freaky freaky.

So far, things seem to be going very well, which is nice. It's just so absolutely frickin' bizarre. 34 days. That is really not that long and, as I've been told, it can come early. WTF!?!?! Sounds nice to get the munchkin out, but it doesn't seem that all my troubles will magically disappear at that point.

I still feel 5 at times and wonder how the hell me and Dylan, the spazzy love of my life, will ever manage to be parents. I used to look at people with children and think that they knew something profound or magical and really, that has since faded. Now I wonder for many if it was perhaps their lack of knowledge (or access to birth control) that led them to parenthood.

Our munchkin was actually planned, but in some ways I do wonder if I was too much in my checklist mentality from a too-busy lifestyle brought on by grad school. Em's stressed out brain: "Married? check. Half-marathon? check. Pretty good job? check. House repairs in progress? check. Able to sell house and move at some point soon? check. Done with grad school? check. Grocery shopping done? check. All righty, what's next? Baby, hmmm, let's get one of those!"

Me holding Charlotte...

Sunday, April 16, 2006

My New Glasses (aka I am very very very very bored)

Photographic proof that my husband held a baby on saturday afternoon....

First Hitler, and now this:

Fuckers. I didn't even LIKE "Platoon". I wanna be "Heathers" or "Shaun of the Dead".

Friday, April 14, 2006

Oh, for fuck's sake.....

Leingirlz Photo Friday #3:

Thursday, April 13, 2006

The blogger as a young child.....

Dawn's post ( about baby books made me curious to read what was written in my very own baby book. So, I dug it out. My husband was shocked because: "Aren't parents supposed to, like, KEEP their kids' baby books? Why do you have your baby book?" and so on until I flipped him the bird and told him to expletive off.

I do not know WHY my sisters and I each have our own baby books in our respective possessions, and why they aren't at Lein Parents Central. So drop it, fuckers!!! I'm sure mommy loved me.....right? RIGHT?!!!!!

Anyhoo, on to the baby book excerpts (by the way, I was born on June 27):

  • July 21, Franciscan Monastery - Jenny slept through her first mass.
  • September 30 - Jenny's already showing food preferences. She makes horrible faces and cries when I feed her meats or vegetables.....pineapple and cottage cheese seem to be her favorites.
  • October 23 - Jenny's first baby visitor arrived this afternoon with his mom. Jenny & little Eric seemed to be getting along fairly well until Jenny let out her Steam Engine Yell. Poor little Eric was startled to tears, & his mommy had to comfort & quiet him. Jenny chuckled.
  • Christmas - What a character! Jenny's sound vocabulary grows. She varies her squeals & hollers...sometimes diminutive sighs alternate with miniature water buffalo bellows. At times, she drowns out her daddy's favorite TV programs; she frequently interrupts Steve Allen.
  • January 15 - Ann Arbor, Michigan, University of Michigan Campus: ....the young clerk at the bookstore burbled that Jenny was SOOOO sweet, just like a little angel. Jenny burped.
  • February 9 - Jenny's social contacts have increased; she's met more children her age. She tends to be outgoing and even aggressive about taking toys away from other kids.

So, in essence, I am (and have been since birth, apparently):

  • Irreverent towards organized religion, particularly Catholicism.
  • A picky little shit who hates most foods.
  • In possession of the oh-so-useful ability to make men cry. And then laugh at them.
  • A loudmouth who hates Steve Allen.
  • Gaseous, but with good comedic timing.
  • NOT a team player. A dick, even.

Now WHY do my parents not have my baby book again? Oh. Yeah. Now I get it.

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Because there just aren't enough pictures of monkeys with rakes....

Monday, April 10, 2006

Rot in Hell, vile Jem

I have had the theme song to "Jem & the Holograms" running through my head since Sunday afternoon (you know, "JEM! Ahhh-ahhhhh, truly outrageous, you're truly truly truly outrageous....").

I was singing it loudly to the cats yesterday while I was folding laundry, and then I noticed that my next door neighbor was weeding her garden right by my open window. Startled (& mid-verse, mind you), I exclaimed "FUCK!".

I suppose this means she ("she" meaning the neighbor, not that whore Jem) won't be stopping over anytime soon with some banana bread, welcoming us to the neighborhood.

Fucking Jem.

Sunday, April 09, 2006

Let's create a story for this picture, shall we?

Saturday, April 08, 2006


Thanks to Kari for pointing me towards this awesome comic strip generator:

Go to to see it full-size.

P.S. I also employed a little bit of photoshop to make the last frame work

Friday, April 07, 2006

New State Quarters...

I'm home from work with an owie back, so this is all I got today. Enjoy.
Vicodin, take me away.

Thursday, April 06, 2006

Jesus walks on ice....and then slips and breaks his coccyx

I laughed my hellbound ass off at this. It really sounds like something from The Onion:

*This picture has nothing to do with the above link, it's just the only Ice Jesus image I could find.

Jesus shoots...Jesus scores!!!!!!!

I have come up with the title for RL Stine's newest Goosebumps book:

Something in the refrigerator stinks, but I am afraid to investigate further.

The hubby will have to handle this one, as I have been known to simply toss out the tupperware with the moldy mystery contents rather than attempt to salvage the container. Fuck THAT shit.

Also, we have dust bunnies in our house that are bigger than the cats. Yesterday I tried taking the swiffer to them, but they (the dust bunnies, not the cats) merely grabbed the handle and started beating me over the head with it. And what is with the fucking spider population? I have killed 7 in the last week or so, one of which was right next to my pillow. The cats are clearly not earning their keep.

That is all.

Sunday, April 02, 2006

For the NDSU gang:

I started drawing a comic strip called The Social Template right after I graduated from architecture school in 1991. This is one of my favorites.

P.S. As for you, the NDSU gang. I'd better see some comments from you chickenshits on this one. You know who you are.

P.P.S. There are a couple more Social Templates scanned and in my Flickr sketch set here: