See You In Hell!

Thursday, April 06, 2006

Jesus walks on ice....and then slips and breaks his coccyx

I laughed my hellbound ass off at this. It really sounds like something from The Onion:

http://www.usatoday.com/tech/science/2006-04-05-galilee-ice-theory_x.htm





















*This picture has nothing to do with the above link, it's just the only Ice Jesus image I could find.

Jesus shoots...Jesus scores!!!!!!!

11 Comments:

Blogger goldennib said...

I think it's fun to come up with explanations for miracles.

What is even more fun is the reaction of true believers to these explanations. If you truly are a true believer, should these explanations bother you?

I think Jesus plays ice hockey. He'd like the cool breeze as it swishes off the ice and up his robe.

My friends and I always say we must get use to our cocktails without ice.

Friday, April 7, 2006 at 6:21:00 AM PDT

 
Blogger Jege (Jen) said...

Yes, I think Jesus WOULD like the cool breeze swirling around his nethers. Also, I bet that Jesus never has to worry about being offsides.

Friday, April 7, 2006 at 8:07:00 AM PDT

 
Blogger goldennib said...

Who would referee a game in which Jesus played? God would be biased and the Holy Spirit would melt the ice.

Friday, April 7, 2006 at 8:20:00 AM PDT

 
Blogger Jege (Jen) said...

Never mind that, who would want to PLAY against Jesus?

Coach: "Okay guys, next game is against..... *looks at clipboard* Fuck. We play Jesus."

Team: *groans of disapproval*

Friday, April 7, 2006 at 8:35:00 AM PDT

 
Blogger goldennib said...

Yeah, everyone would be wondering if he really made that goal or did he use a miracle.

It would be sad for Jesus too. He'd never know if his team mates liked him for himself or his godly abilities.

Friday, April 7, 2006 at 9:14:00 AM PDT

 
Anonymous Dorkette said...

Damnit, I lost my comment. Crap.

Jen, this was so funny I practically pissed myself.

I think they're all full of it. Jesus was walking on a plexiglass block just beneath the water's surface.

And reconstructing the history of lakes really gets me hot.

The hockey? Five bucks says Jesus is naked under that robe.

Friday, April 7, 2006 at 10:23:00 AM PDT

 
Blogger Julie_Gong said...

Never mind that, who would want to PLAY against Jesus?

Coach: "Okay guys, next game is against..... *looks at clipboard* Fuck. We play Jesus."

Team: *groans of disapproval*

funniest thing ever... i hope hell is nice seeing as i will be spending eternity there.

Friday, April 7, 2006 at 11:20:00 AM PDT

 
Blogger Jege (Jen) said...

Dorkette: You mean a plexiglass block just like in that cheesy video by The Cars in the late 80's?

Julie: See you in Hell. I'll be seated next to the bar.

Sunday, April 9, 2006 at 2:58:00 PM PDT

 
Blogger don't call me MA'AM said...

Man! I wish somebody would pay me to sit around all day and theorize about things that may or may not have happened 2000 years ago.

My job seems so unfulfilling now.

Sunday, April 9, 2006 at 4:28:00 PM PDT

 
Blogger amycita said...

Jege; FYI Ric Ocasek of the Cars actually IS jesus. I mean, how else did he get Paulina Poriskova (sp?!) to marry his skinny, jug-head looking ass?!

Monday, April 10, 2006 at 6:52:00 PM PDT

 
Blogger Jege (Jen) said...

Amycita: True, dat.

Monday, April 10, 2006 at 6:55:00 PM PDT

 

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