See You In Hell!

Monday, April 17, 2006

Less than 5 weeks to go

to the due date. Freaky freaky freaky.

So far, things seem to be going very well, which is nice. It's just so absolutely frickin' bizarre. 34 days. That is really not that long and, as I've been told, it can come early. WTF!?!?! Sounds nice to get the munchkin out, but it doesn't seem that all my troubles will magically disappear at that point.

I still feel 5 at times and wonder how the hell me and Dylan, the spazzy love of my life, will ever manage to be parents. I used to look at people with children and think that they knew something profound or magical and really, that has since faded. Now I wonder for many if it was perhaps their lack of knowledge (or access to birth control) that led them to parenthood.

Our munchkin was actually planned, but in some ways I do wonder if I was too much in my checklist mentality from a too-busy lifestyle brought on by grad school. Em's stressed out brain: "Married? check. Half-marathon? check. Pretty good job? check. House repairs in progress? check. Able to sell house and move at some point soon? check. Done with grad school? check. Grocery shopping done? check. All righty, what's next? Baby, hmmm, let's get one of those!"


Blogger Jege (Jen) said...

That's life for ya.

Monday, April 17, 2006 at 1:06:00 PM PDT

Blogger goldennib said...

Lists are very important.

Congrats on your baby. Now, the fun really begins! Oh, and babies don't read no stinkin' lists.

Monday, April 17, 2006 at 4:00:00 PM PDT

Blogger goldennib said...

And I just realized you didn't have the baby yet. Duh.

Monday, April 17, 2006 at 4:04:00 PM PDT

Blogger Jim V said...

Best advice I ever got: If you wait until you are ready to have kids, you'll never have kids.

Think of it this way. If you were likely to be a bad Mom, you probably wouldn't be worried about anything right now. The only reason you are worried is because you want to do this right. That desire to do it right is about all you need to be a good parent. God eventually helps all the other details fall into place somehow. The only thing he can't do is make you care. If you didn't care, you wouldn't be worried. So you're good to go.

In summary, then, the fact that you are worried means you don't need to worry. But if you stop worrying because you were worried, don't let that worry you because the only reason you stopped worrying was because you had originally started worrying. Of course that's moot, though, because worrying about not worrying is still worrying, so then you would be worrying again which would mean you didn't need to worry.

See how simple parenthood is?

Tuesday, April 18, 2006 at 4:36:00 AM PDT

Blogger eM said...

Thanks Goldennib and Jim :)

So far we are trying to take a realistic (!?!?!) look at the whole situation. The husband will pet the tummy and talk sweetly to it and say things like: "We can't wait for you to come out so we can love you and snug you and you can love us and then go through a phase where you hate us and then love us again."

We were both hellions in our teenage years, so I can only imagine what this kid is going to do! She'll probably be the damned prom queen (nothing against them, just don't have experience with that type of thing) or something and we'll be totally lost and confused: "Why can't you just get many parts of your body pierced and dye your hair green and purple like mommy and daddy did?"

Tuesday, April 18, 2006 at 5:05:00 AM PDT

Blogger Jules said...

When you have the baby, you'll fall in love. Then, you'll worry more. But that just means that you'll take extra special care with the baby and everything will be fine. Babies teach their parents in the beginning. It's a growing process. As the baby starts to grow up and do more things, you will just naturally grow with him/her. Everything will be just fine, you'll see! I'm so excited for you! New babies are the most precious gift. Be prepared to be sleep-deprived for a few months, no exageration there, and take help from anyone who offers it. New moms deserve it.

Tuesday, April 18, 2006 at 8:18:00 AM PDT

Blogger Crystal said...

wow. enjoy your 34 days. after that, your life will never be the same. never.

it'll be better. :)

Tuesday, April 18, 2006 at 2:39:00 PM PDT

Blogger Lisa said...

Ok, since this is turning into the advise column, I'll add mine.

Read this book: Babywise
Take it with a grain of salt b/c I truly believe that he is talking in "perfect world" scenarios, which so does not exist with a newborn baby. But this is the only thing that saved my sanity during those first 8-ish weeks of total and complete sleep deprivation.

It's basically a book on how to get your baby to sleep through the night really early (8-12 weeks) and how to set rules, etc for different stages of their developement. I knew nothing about babies when I had my first and this really helped.

Tuesday, April 18, 2006 at 9:37:00 PM PDT

Blogger Lisa said...

ok, one more...
If you are a hypochondriac like your sister...
get Dr. Spock's Baby and Child Health book. I used it as a reference when different shit would happen and I didn't know if it was ER-worthy or whatever.

Tuesday, April 18, 2006 at 9:42:00 PM PDT

Blogger goldennib said...

The best thing for colic is a mild tea made with fennel seeds and a little corn syrup. Saved my life when my daugther wouldn't quit crying.

Never give honey to a baby.

You can't spoil babies by holding them.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006 at 3:10:00 AM PDT

Blogger Jim V said...

"go through a phase where you hate us": Remember, though, that this phase only lasts about ten years.

As my mother puts it: Being a grandparent is the reward for not killing your children when they were teenagers.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006 at 3:57:00 AM PDT

Blogger eM said...

Jules, thanks! I'm definitely willing to accept help. My in-laws all live within a few miles (which is oddly good--they're all wonderful) and are very interested in grandchildren and helping out.

Crystal, I know. It's already changing. Planning things is useless--who knows what will happen. I think it will be good though too!

Lisa, I'll get the books--good to know. We are going to need to get the kid to sleep through the night early on. I hit a point where I'm no longer human if I'm too sleep-deprived. And while I'm not quite the hypochondriac that Jen is, I certainly can get a bit paranoid :)

goldennib--fennel and corn syrup-good to know. I have heard about the honey thing before--it's the bee spit issue, huh?

Jim, a decade isn't that long, right? eeek! The teenage years are not something we're looking forward to.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006 at 5:57:00 AM PDT

Blogger Jege (Jen) said...

Ah, Dr. Spock's Baby & Child Care book.....remember it from "Raising Arizona"?

Also, mom & dad have a copy, of course.

Okay, fine, you got me...I AM a hypochondriac, but I DO have lots and lots of health problems. So neener neener.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006 at 9:01:00 AM PDT

Blogger dawn said...

I am also throwing a shout out to the Baby Whisperer for one specific chapter - she talks about learning an infants body language and cries and it is enormously helpful in figuring out when the babe is hungry vs overtired vs gas.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006 at 9:54:00 AM PDT

Blogger kari said...

oh ellermee!
just repeat this to yourself:

kari can be a lunatic, yet kari has a rockin' kid. kari can be a lunatic, yet kari has a rockin' kid....

rinse and repeat.

oh, and if you don't already have it, buy The Baby Book by Dr. William Sears. a lifesaving book.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006 at 11:04:00 AM PDT


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