Finally, a chance to use that dirty mind...
This morning I was thinking about all of the architectural and construction terminology that, although benign and asexual, actually sounds pretty dirty. At least to me.
For example, wouldn't you giggle if someone started talking to you about Caulk Shrinkage? How about Threaded Brass Nipples? Hose Bibbs? Double-Hung Windows? Erection Aids? Perhaps.....Sill Cocks? HMMMM? No? Wait a minute, I know: BALL PLUNGERS!!!
Anyway, your challenge is to list as many words and/or expressions that sound dirty, but really aren't.
Annnnnnnnnddddddd go.
posted by Jege (Jen) at 1:34 PM
52 Comments:
Oh, MAN. Coccyx. That is, "cocks-iks"
Tuesday, May 9, 2006 at 3:25:00 PM PDT
Peanuts.
Horned Lizzard.
I don't think I'm very good at this game.
Tuesday, May 9, 2006 at 4:32:00 PM PDT
I just recently learned "slit seeder" which is just a thing used for planting grass.
Tuesday, May 9, 2006 at 4:34:00 PM PDT
Cock. Balls.
Tuesday, May 9, 2006 at 4:34:00 PM PDT
philatelist
Tuesday, May 9, 2006 at 4:36:00 PM PDT
pianist
Tuesday, May 9, 2006 at 4:41:00 PM PDT
man lift
stud framing
Tuesday, May 9, 2006 at 7:11:00 PM PDT
I don't know how dirty these sound to other people, but they always make us giggle when we're feeling EXTRA immature:
cumquat
cockamamie
in golf... "choke up on the shaft"
cum file (short for cumulative, but always abbreviated)
Apparently, I'm stuck on words and phrases that start with "C."
Tuesday, May 9, 2006 at 8:43:00 PM PDT
DCMM, that reminds me of some other abbreviations:
Cont (short for continued)
Anal (short for analysis)
Wednesday, May 10, 2006 at 6:35:00 AM PDT
Manhole
Also, whenever the mail room at work calls to tell me that: "you have a box" or "you have a giant package waiting for you down here".
Wednesday, May 10, 2006 at 6:38:00 AM PDT
Technophiles may have heard of what the recording industry refers to as the "analog hole" which is a horrible name but it essentially refers to the ability to copy movies/songs usings a line-out jack.
Shuttlecock.
Crankshaft.
Wednesday, May 10, 2006 at 8:06:00 AM PDT
I coach a girls high school soccer team and I love to yell "Better Balls" and "Penatatration" during games. It makes me happy inside.
Wednesday, May 10, 2006 at 9:42:00 AM PDT
Manhole brings "mandate" to mind, among others. I also like to say "nice rack" a lot, about coat racks, bike racks, a well-racked set of billiard balls. I once saw a well-endowed woman walk out of the grocery store holding nothing but two one-gallon jugs of milk. The Todd in me nearly lost it.
Wednesday, May 10, 2006 at 10:00:00 AM PDT
Nick, I had the exact same reaction when I recently saw a woman at the grocery store holding 2 honeydew melons.
I also burst into laughter upon hearing that my friend Dawn's 5-year-old son sucks on used teabags.
Kato, I still can't get past the "slit seeder"....
Wednesday, May 10, 2006 at 10:57:00 AM PDT
Oh! oh! I remembered another one. When Eric & Dawn remodeled their old house and asked me what I thought of the rear entry.
Wednesday, May 10, 2006 at 10:59:00 AM PDT
I promise I'll stop after this one:
Recently we got a new phone system at work, and they sent out an email telling us that now we all have "back door lines".
Also, if any of us Lein Girls ever decides to go into the adult entertainment industry, "Back Door Lein" would be a good stage name.
Wednesday, May 10, 2006 at 11:02:00 AM PDT
I gotta say Coccyx again. And only because I broke mine and it was sooooo fun to say that I went hiking in the Grand Canyon and broke my coccyx!
Granted actually breaking your coccyx is a hideously painful experience, but saying that word a lot was amusing.
Wednesday, May 10, 2006 at 11:09:00 AM PDT
I guess I should have holstered "slit seeder"... it's just too good.
With regards to volleyball, I'm amused when anyone says "nice set".
Wednesday, May 10, 2006 at 11:15:00 AM PDT
Once when my sister Amy picked me up at the airport, she spotted my luggage on the luggage carousel, and vaulted forward, grabbing the suitcase and leaping back again in one fluid motion. The guy next to us was totally awestruck at Amy's grace & precision in retrieving the bag, and commented "Nice snatch!"
Wednesday, May 10, 2006 at 11:37:00 AM PDT
I love sexual inuendo. The more innocent the better.
Wednesday, May 10, 2006 at 12:44:00 PM PDT
I have spent way too much time at work thinking about this! This is hysterical!
Thursday, May 11, 2006 at 8:59:00 AM PDT
I saw the Guy Ritchie movie "Snatch" in the theaters a few years ago. I kid you not, the attended was yelling out "Who's here for Snatch? Is anyone here for Snatch?" to let us know the theater had been cleaned.
I saw the movie on a weekend, and I obviously don't get the kid or senior discount, so the ticket stub reads, amusingly enough: "Adult Wee Snatch".
Thursday, May 11, 2006 at 10:17:00 AM PDT
I just don't understand how people can be so oblivious. How on earth can you NOT foresee how standing in a theatre asking "who's here for snatch" might be misconstrued?
It reminds me of this guy I used to work for who named his newborn son Woody. Their last name was Palmer.
I am NOT kidding.
Thursday, May 11, 2006 at 12:37:00 PM PDT
In architecture, they often talk about the vertical penetrations of buildings, and it is amusing to stand around listening to a bunch of big burly construction men talk about their erection plans.
Friday, May 12, 2006 at 7:38:00 AM PDT
Just the other day I had a construction guy call me and say, "Lisa, I'm calling about your hole." Direct quote! It was in reference to a core drill in a concrete floor, by the way.
Friday, May 12, 2006 at 7:41:00 AM PDT
Jen, at least Mr. Palmer didn't have a daughter and name her Rosy.
Friday, May 12, 2006 at 7:43:00 AM PDT
Lisa, you remember Chuck Palmer from HLM...he's the one I'm referring to.
Friday, May 12, 2006 at 7:51:00 AM PDT
And Lisa, what about your hole? Don't leave us hangin', here....
Friday, May 12, 2006 at 7:52:00 AM PDT
There was never a better time had in gym class than when the badminton nets were dragged out and you could yell "Nice shuttlecock!" without being sent to the principal's office...
Friday, May 12, 2006 at 10:55:00 AM PDT
I went to school with a kid whose last name was "Bater". Which of course meant, until he was an adult, he was Master Bater.
Friday, May 12, 2006 at 11:34:00 AM PDT
Anytime someone says "cat" or "box" or "balls" I giggle.
I thought of more.
Assuage. Dishonorable discharge. (ALL discharge is dishonorable, IMO.) Bangkok, which is a Favorite Word on my Favorite Words List. Palm Pilot. Angina.
I have given this so much thought all week..
Friday, May 12, 2006 at 12:10:00 PM PDT
Poop deck.
Honore de Balzac.
Beefeater.
Defenestrate.
Streptococcus.
Gutter ball.
Dipstick.
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.
I can't stop. This is what I do on my day off and I love it.
Friday, May 12, 2006 at 12:21:00 PM PDT
Jen-I barely remember Chuck Palmer. Certainly not well enough to remember his kid's name.
As for my hole, I made him fill it in and drill me a new one!
(if only it were as exciting as it sounds...)
Friday, May 12, 2006 at 2:41:00 PM PDT
Band teachers always tell students who are behind the beat to "catch up! You're a beat off." This, of course, results in a lot of giggling and snickering until the stupid band director realizes what he/she said, and then laughs, too.
Friday, May 12, 2006 at 9:52:00 PM PDT
My hubby has one to contribute: One time at band camp, er, I mean WORK, the project manager wanted hubby to stop what he was doing and help with an emergency, just for the day. According to the hubby, the boss walked up to him and said "don't mean to jerk you off (of what you're doing)..." and then they both started laughing.
As for me, whenever anyone uses loathsome corporate-speak & says "...low-hanging fruit..." I giggle like a 12-year-old.
Saturday, May 13, 2006 at 8:04:00 AM PDT
Plums.
I always think of "smuggling plums" and some guy's package under spandex. I don't know why.
Also, the word "testy." *giggle*
Saturday, May 13, 2006 at 3:24:00 PM PDT
from joe mammy:
- NASCAR driver Dick Trickle
- doing a small load by hand
- refilling the inkjet printer
- tuning the old upright
- blowing out the old duct work
- "tug of war with cyclops" (ala beavis and butthead)
- dusting the venetian blinds
Saturday, May 13, 2006 at 8:03:00 PM PDT
from ungeziefer:
"getting rammed by___________."
(either from someone, a car, etc.)
Saturday, May 13, 2006 at 8:13:00 PM PDT
When I was a hostess in high school, somebody changed the sign that says "Hostess will seat you" to "Hostess will eat you" And so I did! Never before have hostesses gotten tips...
And a much more recent one: I am teaching one regular ed math class so I get to teach things like factoring polynomials, graphing hyperbolas (Plural of hyperbola? anyone? anyone?)and so, of course, I got to say asymptote several times throughout my lecture and (subconsiously) I misspelled it: "assymptote." I kept such a straight face that nobody busted out laughing, though a few little snickers escaped.
Sunday, May 14, 2006 at 7:41:00 AM PDT
Jege-this is the best idea for a post. Second only to the drunken story one. Bravo!
Sunday, May 14, 2006 at 6:47:00 PM PDT
shrinky dink.
seamen.
semicolon.
Sunday, May 14, 2006 at 9:04:00 PM PDT
When I was in highschool, our dean of students came on the morning announcements to complain about people dropping chewing gum (which was verbotten anyway) and it getting stuck in the carpet. Only he apparently pulled a Freudian slip and complained about "cum in the rug" instead. Best homeroom EVAR.
Monday, May 15, 2006 at 8:21:00 AM PDT
One day in high school physics class we had a substitute teacher.
We were discussing Hadrons (particles made from quarks & gluons), and he had a little Freudian slip. Now remember the spelling here; they're called HADRONS. But he said something like this:
"The idea of the quarks was first proposed to explain the many observed Hardons in the 50's and 60's".
And much laughter ensued.
Monday, May 15, 2006 at 9:48:00 AM PDT
Direct quote from a contractor's shop drawing:
"Erection aids to remain in place after erection".
Monday, May 15, 2006 at 4:27:00 PM PDT
Isn't that what Cialias is for?
Rear Admiral
Titmouse
Pussywillow
(Comment #50 baby!)
Tuesday, May 16, 2006 at 7:48:00 PM PDT
From a meeting yesterday with a mechanical engineer:
"servicing the equipment"
Also:
"one-way sex bolt"
"self-tapping screw"
Wednesday, May 17, 2006 at 8:45:00 AM PDT
During a lunchtime presentation about lighting fixtures (they had a sample fixture sitting on the table that they wanted to demonstrate):
"Ella, would you plug in that 6-inch for me?"
Wednesday, May 17, 2006 at 1:01:00 PM PDT
I have to stop reading this thread. It's getting me hot.
Thursday, May 18, 2006 at 3:04:00 PM PDT
Rectory
Friday, May 19, 2006 at 9:03:00 AM PDT
Uranus
Friday, May 19, 2006 at 9:24:00 AM PDT
Aretha Franklin
Friday, May 19, 2006 at 9:30:00 AM PDT
An album cover (i.e. anal bum cover)
Hey, my verification word is psssv!
Friday, May 19, 2006 at 10:29:00 AM PDT
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