Tuesday, May 31, 2005
Friday, May 27, 2005
Name that tune...
Has a song ever popped into your head, and for the life of you, you cannot remember the name of the song? But you can’t stop humming it, and now your coworkers have it stuck in their heads too, and they’re plotting to toss your ass into the nearest chipper shredder? I’m suffering from this tragic affliction at this very moment, and it suddenly occurred to me that there should be a telephone number (1-800-WTF-TUNE, perhaps?) that you can call, where you can then hum or sing your mystery song to a “melody operator” who will then tell you what the name of the song is. Because it’s damn near impossible to Google :
“that one song from that movie starring Tom Cruise that goes like DA-DAAAA-da-da-da-dooooo-DING DA!!!”
or
"that music that they always play during wacky chase scenes in old cartoons, you know, DA! DA! DA! DA! dada-dada-dada da..."
Thursday, May 26, 2005
The Hallway leading to the 7th floor restroom at my office looks like it is directly out of “The Shining”..
...all except for the crappy lay-in acoustical ceiling tiles (I personally think "The Shining" would have been a lot less scary if the Overlook had had acoustical ceiling tiles).
Other than that it totally looks like, at any minute, those 2 little creepy twin girls in matching dresses are going to appear, and then blood is gonna come rushing out of the doors at the end of the hallway.
Thursday, May 19, 2005
Combat just for men ?
I was heinously uncool at the time to suggest in mindrot, nd in 7th grade that women should be able to be at all levels of the military if they wanted to (including the front lines). i think i'm still at that phase. Or pehaps terribly naive. maybe both, who knows, i've been spending waaaay too much time working on my thesis and trying to get through an icky time work-wise..
but this: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/7909766/ kind of annoys me.
maybe it's because the whole concept of a random group of folks decided what types of jobs anyone could be assigned to seems freaky and wrong (no, was never in the military and never will be), but it's also that it's women's roles that are being decided. While i don't personally want to go fight, i can't believe that there are no women who would be honored to actively fight for their country, just as many men do. I just don't think it's a good step in 2005 to start making broad decisions about what women can and cannot handle. Is it going to stop here?
Do i need to get more sleep, work less and finish thesis so i can get on with my life? hell yes...
but is anybody else irked by this type of thing tho?
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
The saxophone player outside my window must die.
He has been out there on the street corner for 2 days straight now, from the hours of 8-5, playing “Take Five” over and over and fucking over again. Occasionally he plays some sappy, loopy tune that sounds like it’s from a bad 1970’s movie featuring Ryan O’Neal and Long Drives In A Convertible Along The California Coastline.
Occasionally he will play some film noir-y crapola that makes me start narrating my thoughts and actions in a Sam Spade-ish manner, while visions of neon signs zoom over my head. I envision myself in a fedora, leaning against an open window while I light a cigarette, and then cast a knowing, pensive gaze over the City.
Then, BAM! It’s “Take Five” again followed by some random Chuck Mangione horseshit.
UPDATE: Now he's playing the theme from "The Odd Couple". Oh sweet Jeebus, take me now!
UPDATE: Can you guess what he's playing now? The next correct caller will win a free tote bag if they can guess what he's playing now! No? The answer is: "Eye of the Tiger".
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
Loose, bunchy, and retarded?
This morning I went swimming at the gym. I know, I know, how incredibly lame of me. But anyway, after swimming I was standing at one of the sinks, applying subtle amounts of makeup (I subscribe to the “apply makeup in such a manner as to appear that you are not wearing any makeup at all, but are instead Naturally Radiant” philosophy of makeupping ). There were 2 women, no make that GIRLS, at the sinks next to me, maybe around 24 or 25 years old, chatting while they demonstrated what can only be described as the “I’m a wee little hooker” makeup strategy.
They are both around a size 4…combined.
Bitch #1: Man, you are getting so skinny!
Bitch #2: I know! None of my clothes fit anymore! Look….they’re so loose and bunchy on me, I look so retarded!
At this point I steal a look at these Loose Bunchy Retarded Clothes; they are in fact, not loose, bunchy, or even retarded. They just look like standard, everyday, Nice-Fitting Clothes.
Bitch #1: You should go Banana Republic and get something more “fitted”.
Again, I look at the clothes; anything more “fitted” than that would actually fall into the classification of “tight”, but what the hell do I know. Serves me right for going to the gym at 6 in the morning.