See You In Hell!

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

The saxophone player outside my window must die.

He has been out there on the street corner for 2 days straight now, from the hours of 8-5, playing “Take Five” over and over and fucking over again. Occasionally he plays some sappy, loopy tune that sounds like it’s from a bad 1970’s movie featuring Ryan O’Neal and Long Drives In A Convertible Along The California Coastline.

Occasionally he will play some film noir-y crapola that makes me start narrating my thoughts and actions in a Sam Spade-ish manner, while visions of neon signs zoom over my head. I envision myself in a fedora, leaning against an open window while I light a cigarette, and then cast a knowing, pensive gaze over the City.

Then, BAM! It’s “Take Five” again followed by some random Chuck Mangione horseshit.

UPDATE: Now he's playing the theme from "The Odd Couple". Oh sweet Jeebus, take me now!

UPDATE: Can you guess what he's playing now? The next correct caller will win a free tote bag if they can guess what he's playing now! No? The answer is: "Eye of the Tiger".

9 Comments:

Blogger amycita said...

You just made that shit up to have something extraordinarily funny to write didn't you?! I believe that after shushing him 3 times you are legally allowed to kill him with a stick (or maybe I just live by Dave Barry's laws...)

Wednesday, May 11, 2005 at 7:29:00 PM PDT

 
Blogger kari said...

Risin' up, back on the street
Did my time, took my chances
Went the distance, now I'm back on my feet
Just a man and his will to survive

So many times, it happens too fast
You change your passion for glory
Don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past
You must fight just to keep them alive

Chorus:
It's the eye of the tiger, it's the cream of the fight
Risin' up to the challenge of our rival
And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night
And he's watchin' us all in the eye of the tiger

Face to face, out in the heat
Hangin' tough, stayin' hungry
They stack the odds 'til we take to the street
For we kill with the skill to survive

chorus

Risin' up, straight to the top
Have the guts, got the glory
Went the distance, now I'm not gonna stop
Just a man and his will to survive

chorus

The eye of the tiger (repeats out)...

Saturday, May 14, 2005 at 9:30:00 PM PDT

 
Blogger Jege (Jen) said...

Okay Kari, you get a free tote bag anyway.

Monday, May 16, 2005 at 8:13:00 AM PDT

 
Blogger Jege (Jen) said...

Oh, and amycita, I WISH I was making this up. Half of the office was plotting this guy's death last week. It's a good thing architects don't carry guns on a regular basis....for many reasons....

Monday, May 16, 2005 at 8:54:00 AM PDT

 
Blogger Jege (Jen) said...

OK. The saxophone player is STILL out there, almost a full week later. Although now, he's moved to the opposite corner of the street, so he is a good 50 feet closer to my desk here at work.
The "music" du jour is a scatty kinda jazz, and it makes me reminisce about the good old days in 1940's New York City....except that I've never been to NYC (except for the airpoprt), and I wasnt alive in the 1940's.
DAMN YOU, MARGINALLY-TALENTED SAXOPHONE MAN!!!!!!

Monday, May 16, 2005 at 1:07:00 PM PDT

 
Blogger eM said...

Are you near a window? Do you have a pencil holder? Preferably, if you could steal a pencil holder from someone with a child who has taken a pottery class...those huge pencil holders that weigh about 9 pounds and hold 1 or 2 pencils...that'd be perfect!

Monday, May 16, 2005 at 1:58:00 PM PDT

 
Blogger amycita said...

Maybe you should just buy him a bottle of ripple and tempt him to fall off the wagon agin...

Monday, May 16, 2005 at 6:05:00 PM PDT

 
Blogger kari said...

i adore my mean-spirited quasi-sisters!

Tuesday, May 17, 2005 at 12:19:00 PM PDT

 
Blogger Jege (Jen) said...

And we love you, Karicita!!!

Tuesday, May 17, 2005 at 5:00:00 PM PDT

 

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