Loose, bunchy, and retarded?

This morning I went swimming at the gym. I know, I know, how incredibly lame of me. But anyway, after swimming I was standing at one of the sinks, applying subtle amounts of makeup (I subscribe to the “apply makeup in such a manner as to appear that you are not wearing any makeup at all, but are instead Naturally Radiant” philosophy of makeupping ). There were 2 women, no make that GIRLS, at the sinks next to me, maybe around 24 or 25 years old, chatting while they demonstrated what can only be described as the “I’m a wee little hooker” makeup strategy.
They are both around a size 4…combined.

Bitch #1: Man, you are getting so skinny!

Bitch #2: I know! None of my clothes fit anymore! Look….they’re so loose and bunchy on me, I look so retarded!

At this point I steal a look at these Loose Bunchy Retarded Clothes; they are in fact, not loose, bunchy, or even retarded. They just look like standard, everyday, Nice-Fitting Clothes.

Bitch #1: You should go Banana Republic and get something more “fitted”.

Again, I look at the clothes; anything more “fitted” than that would actually fall into the classification of “tight”, but what the hell do I know. Serves me right for going to the gym at 6 in the morning.