Everyone else has had more sex than me

check out this bizarro clip. Rob found it and hearts it. http://www.madman.com.au/tism/comp.html

Choose Your Own Adventure.....the remix

'Heart'-ing stuff

I watched 'I Heart Huckabees' last night, and while I did indeed Heart it, I am not IN Heart with it.

Random picture from my past European travels (because I am bored & stuff, and my sisters don't seem to be posting anything lately...)

I am also sitting at work, with the book "ACI Manual Of Concrete Practice" (book 2 of 5) propped open in front of me, semi-exhaustively poring over the section called 'Guide To Formwork For Architectural Concrete'.

It occurs to me that, while the knowledge of industry-specific construction practices and material tolerances are crucial to the success of any architectural design, I would rather run naked through a Teamster's meeting than read about them on such a nice sunny day.

So anyway, here's a picture of La Defense in Paris:

Too much "Sopranos"?

I really love "The Sopranos". I have been known to fire up the HBO On Demand and watch 6 in a row on a rainy Sunday. The only downside is that my Coefficient of Swearing has been on the rise lately. For example:

Devin: Are you doing any laundry today? I have a black shirt that needs to be washed.
Me: Fuck the laundry. Fuck it right in the ass.

or:

Coworker: Have you finished that detail of the brise de soleil yet?
Me: What da FUCK, why do ya godda bust my balls all da fuckin' time?!!!

and so on.

Over and out, bitches.

Kitchen Kaboodle goes to Hell....

The perfect gift for the next wedding, housewarming party, or baby shower you attend...

PORTLAND HAS ONLY ONE BALL.....

...And here it is.

Things in store for Jack Bauer on the next season of ‘24’:

Jack will sleep in until noon. He will not receive any frantic phone calls from CTU, the President, or his recently-kidnapped girlfriend. He will, however, get 2 phone calls from Qwest asking him if he’d like to add caller ID to his home line. Given his past history, this seems like a wise move.

Jack suddenly realizes that during his non-stop crusade to save the United States, no, THE WORLD, from constant peril, he has neglected to do any of his laundry from the past 4 seasons. In fact, he wore the same pair of underwear in seasons 3 and 4. But this is of little consequence, seeing that he hasn’t had time to take a leak or evacuate his bowels since before Nina Myers entered the picture. He turns his current pair of jockeys inside-out, and begins to sort his lights and darks. Dammit! How the HELL did he get pizza sauce on that T-shirt? He hasn’t eaten any food or ingested any water for 96 straight episodes!!!!!

Well shit, there’s no laundry detergent. And why would there be? Off to the store.

Some asshole in a HUMVEE with a license plate that says “ROK HARD” just cut Jack off at the entrance to the Regal Beaver Grocery Store. Jack fleetingly entertains the notion of calling CTU and telling them that ROK HARD has weapons-grade plutonium in the back seat.

Jack has to walk past the personal hygiene aisle on his way to the laundry detergent. He remembers that he is fresh out of deodorant, and decides to pick some up…..But Terri used to do all of the shopping, so now Jack has to try and figure out if he wants Mennen Speedstick or Arrid Extra Dry. Invisible Solid or Roll-on? Mountain Fresh Scent or Manly Heterosexual Diesel Engine Musk? And what the fuck is this Tom’s of Maine shit? He decides to call Tony Almeida on his cell phone and ask him which brand he uses, but Tony hasn't used deodorant for years. That's the real reason his wife left him.

Jack is perplexed. Think, dammit, think!!! Which brand? WHICH BRAND?!!
Flashback to season 4 when Air Force One crashed. Jack is combing through the wreckage, calling for the president, when he finds a Speedstick. He casually picks it up, rubs it under his arms, hands it to the SWAT guy behind him, and continues. The SWAT guy momentarily scrutinizes the deodorant, then throws it to the ground in disgust, snarling "only fags use Powder Fresh Scent". Jack shoots him in the head and blames it on Marwan. Jack was suspended without pay indefinitely for that stunt. If terrorists hadn’t threatened to take over all of the satellites and air episodes of “Moesha” and “Full House” on every TV in the world, well Jack may have never been reinstated.

To be continued……

Ah, sisterly love. Circa 1980....

Cats in Europe!

I cannot travel w/out taking pix of wildlife..and when in cities, wildlife consists of birds and cats. So...Here are a few cats we found.
In Prague--outside the castle:


In Krakow in the main square, it was hanging out by the vendors:


And even in Aushwitz we saw a kitty wandering around:



There was also a woman in the Prague train station with a cat sleeping inside of her coat with the carrier sitting beside her, but I thought it might be rude and a bit weird to ask to take her picture. and it may wake the cat.

We tried to take pictures of the furry little ponies we saw in the country, but it's hard to do that from a moving train...we did try, but with no luck. I seriously want one of those little guys--soo cute.

Click here to see my whole photostream--for bigger pix

pix 2....

Fred and Ginger for Jege:



Was too disturbed to cry:



Salt mines are fun:



Poland is a little Catholic. This was in the main square in Krakow the day before Easter. It's hard to get the full magnitude of this thing. Earlier in the day, we thought they were setting up for some huge concert. Later that eve, we grabbed an espresso at a little cafe and saw the events unfold. On the right was the huge screen, often with graphic religious imagery. Where it is obscured at the bottom--those are the solo singers....on the left is the screen where the full choir was sometimes shown. On the stage on the left, about 30 people acted out the last days of Christ...interesting stuff:

pix 1

St. Charles Bridge in Praha:



Traditional parking rules don't apply in Krakow:



Cool graffiti outside Synagogue in Krakow:



Bone church in Kutna Hora:



The cathedral in Praha:

Best things about Europe vs. Best things about US

Best Things about Europe (from my whirlwind 2 week stay):

• Small cars -- I love Smarts!! Very few SUVs and other atrocious vehicles (only 2 hummers)
• Cheese.
• Gorgeous buildings, amazing use of space, no ugly sprawl
• biking and walking everywhere is not just something students and poor people do. They *gasp* seem to like it!
• When you're driving on a two way road in the middle of Poland, the car in front of you who is going slow will drive half in the shoulder and half in the road so you can pass. nice. The car on the other side of the road coming at you will do the same thing. awesome.
• Trains that run on time! You can have 7 minutes between trains and make 4 connections and not miss a beat. Think for one moment about having a connecting train or ANYTHING planned after an Amtrak trip...
• KINDER EGGS!!!! (and Kinder hippos!!!)
• no bush and instead of just my friends and people i hang out with saying it, most people are confused as hell about why he's still president.
• lecher!! (tasty/nummy in dutch--what a cute word)
• Lack of advertising on absolutely EVERYTHING. Granted it's there, but not as obscenely as in the US
• Furry little ponies and cute farm animals all over the countryside!

Good things about the US:

• Water is a given when you go to a restaurant, not something that, when you order, they look at you confused thinking, but you already have coffee, what is your problem?
• You don't feel like a total tool most of the time because you don't speak Polish or Czech
• You don't have to avoid most other people from the US for fear they will find out you speak English and seek understanding by hollering in an airport to you as well as their friends saying: "Well that place over there is really great, they actually take American money. But they give you euros for change--suck!" (mind you this was in Amsterdam which is in the Netherlands where the fact that they do take American money is rather nice considering it's a different country)
• You can get a salad...that is actually a salad...and is healthy!
• low-fat and fat-free foods. yes, i'm lame, but damn. at a huge coffee shop, why is it impossible to get a skim latte over there?
• fewer goofy tights...and not as many women wearing shoes that steal the style of high top wrestling shoes

Anything else?