Bored
Work is boring. What to do, what to do....... I know!!!
Let's write personals ads for the crazy homeless people that I see everyday while walking to work!!!
I'll start it off, and you bastards had better start commenting, or else I'm going to be forced to get back to work. So here goes:
Desperately Seeping Susan:
Incontinent, homicidal, height/weight proportional psycho with club foot seeks same for long walks in the park, Shirley Temple movies, taxidermy, possible LTR. Working knowledge of barbecue tongs a plus. Must have own cricket bat.
posted by Jege (Jen) at 1:30 PM
11 Comments:
Seeking Special Someone ...
... to make my shopping cart solo into a duet. I'm a tall, ill-shaven SWM with no obvious rashes who enjoys moonlit walks, recycling and mumbling angrily about communism.
Wednesday, September 14, 2005 at 10:18:00 AM PDT
Oh Karicita, you have a flair for this!!!!
Wednesday, September 14, 2005 at 10:27:00 AM PDT
DO IT. DO IT.
Thursday, September 15, 2005 at 12:42:00 PM PDT
Room For Rent: large dumpster, only two occupants - plenty of space. Professionally cleaned on Mondays and Thursdays. Inquire in ally just past the burnt-out Chevy.
Thursday, September 15, 2005 at 1:09:00 PM PDT
You know that you're all going to hell for this exchange, right?
Thursday, September 15, 2005 at 1:24:00 PM PDT
Wouldn't "upwardly mobile" have to be part of any of these ads. I mean, the opposite certainly couldn't be true, right?
Otay, now I'm going to hell to.
See ya there.
Thursday, September 15, 2005 at 1:27:00 PM PDT
Hell, schmell. Where are the drinks?
Thursday, September 15, 2005 at 1:40:00 PM PDT
Hell Schmell indeed! Pass the Vodker!
Thursday, September 15, 2005 at 2:55:00 PM PDT
Do You Like Pina Coladas?
...and getting caught in the rain (in your Kenmore refrigerator box)? Do you like makin' love (in the bushes behind the port-a-pottys in the park) at midnight? Or the taste of crack cocaine?
Then you're the love that I've looked for.
Meet me near the Urine-soaked loading dock door, I'm the one spitting at passers-by and calling them "WHORE!".
Thursday, September 15, 2005 at 4:07:00 PM PDT
Oh. My. God. That was the most excellent rewrite of Pina Colada ever!!! You rock. I am unworthy and must sit amongst the ashes.
Saturday, September 17, 2005 at 5:51:00 PM PDT
Well, Karicita had it on her site, so I assumed that we needed it as well. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a bridge to jump off of.....
Thursday, September 22, 2005 at 8:11:00 AM PDT
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