See You In Hell!

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Bored

Work is boring. What to do, what to do....... I know!!!
Let's write personals ads for the crazy homeless people that I see everyday while walking to work!!!
I'll start it off, and you bastards had better start commenting, or else I'm going to be forced to get back to work. So here goes:

Desperately Seeping Susan:
Incontinent, homicidal, height/weight proportional psycho with club foot seeks same for long walks in the park, Shirley Temple movies, taxidermy, possible LTR. Working knowledge of barbecue tongs a plus. Must have own cricket bat.

15 Comments:

Blogger kari said...

Seeking Special Someone ...
... to make my shopping cart solo into a duet. I'm a tall, ill-shaven SWM with no obvious rashes who enjoys moonlit walks, recycling and mumbling angrily about communism.

Wednesday, September 14, 2005 at 10:18:00 AM PDT

 
Blogger Jege (Jen) said...

Oh Karicita, you have a flair for this!!!!

Wednesday, September 14, 2005 at 10:27:00 AM PDT

 
Blogger Thomas said...

Here I am to save the day...

Thursday, September 15, 2005 at 12:37:00 PM PDT

 
Blogger Jege (Jen) said...

DO IT. DO IT.

Thursday, September 15, 2005 at 12:42:00 PM PDT

 
Blogger Thomas said...

calm down, ben stiller.

Thursday, September 15, 2005 at 12:56:00 PM PDT

 
Blogger Floyd's Lists said...

Room For Rent: large dumpster, only two occupants - plenty of space. Professionally cleaned on Mondays and Thursdays. Inquire in ally just past the burnt-out Chevy.

Thursday, September 15, 2005 at 1:09:00 PM PDT

 
Blogger Jim V said...

You know that you're all going to hell for this exchange, right?

Thursday, September 15, 2005 at 1:24:00 PM PDT

 
Blogger Jim V said...

Wouldn't "upwardly mobile" have to be part of any of these ads. I mean, the opposite certainly couldn't be true, right?

Otay, now I'm going to hell to.

See ya there.

Thursday, September 15, 2005 at 1:27:00 PM PDT

 
Blogger Jege (Jen) said...

Hell, schmell. Where are the drinks?

Thursday, September 15, 2005 at 1:40:00 PM PDT

 
Blogger The_Bad said...

Hell Schmell indeed! Pass the Vodker!

Thursday, September 15, 2005 at 2:55:00 PM PDT

 
Blogger Jege (Jen) said...

Do You Like Pina Coladas?
...and getting caught in the rain (in your Kenmore refrigerator box)? Do you like makin' love (in the bushes behind the port-a-pottys in the park) at midnight? Or the taste of crack cocaine?
Then you're the love that I've looked for.
Meet me near the Urine-soaked loading dock door, I'm the one spitting at passers-by and calling them "WHORE!".

Thursday, September 15, 2005 at 4:07:00 PM PDT

 
Blogger amycita said...

Oh. My. God. That was the most excellent rewrite of Pina Colada ever!!! You rock. I am unworthy and must sit amongst the ashes.

Saturday, September 17, 2005 at 5:51:00 PM PDT

 
Blogger Jege (Jen) said...

Don't sit amongst the ashes. You'll get your butt dirty.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005 at 11:35:00 AM PDT

 
Blogger amycita said...

You are right Cousin Larry, I shall do the dance of joy to celebrate your wit, rather than sit amongst the ashes and get my butt dirty.

Sidenote: what the fuck is with this extra safety measure where I spell a nonsense word in fucked up font. How does that protect anyone from identity theft? Try to steal my social security number will you! not with "hjgcrv" on my side! No seriously. What. the. fuck?

Wednesday, September 21, 2005 at 5:55:00 PM PDT

 
Blogger Jege (Jen) said...

Well, Karicita had it on her site, so I assumed that we needed it as well. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a bridge to jump off of.....

Thursday, September 22, 2005 at 8:11:00 AM PDT

 

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