Adventures at the gym...

Ok. I did my dutiful thirty-something morning workout today, and went swimming at 6 am. Really.

While I was in the shower, this positively Lilliputian old Asian woman took the shower stall next to me, and proceeded to MORE than make up for her diminutive stature by routinely hocking up loogies the size of Monaco. IN THE SHOWER. I thought - hoped and prayed, actually - that this type of behavior was limited to my husband, but alas, no. I must remember to tell him that his REAL soulmate is actually a withered old Chinese woman with a massive mucus problem.

Then, as I walked back to my locker, I passed the scale, where a toothpick-sized, bobble-head of a woman was weighing herself. NAKED. God fucking forbid that those clothes add an extra 2 ounces (or that she might put somebody's eye out with those spearlike elbows, or sharp, protruding hip bones). One of these days I am going to succumb to the temptation to slyly put my foot on the back of the scale and rocket their weight up to 102. That'll learn 'em.

The weird thing is that the scale is right next to the return air grille; I'm always shocked that I don't see these toothpick women, with segments of linguine for limbs, suctioned up against the grille, squeaking "SEE! I'm even too fat to fit between these louvers!"