See You In Hell!

Wednesday, October 12, 2005


Over on Michele from Michigan's blog , I discovered this most excellent little game: I entered "Jen needs" into Google, and here's what I found:

  • Jen needs some help
  • Jen needs a break
  • Jen needs to have a session or two with a therapist
  • Jen needs to get back to reality
  • Jen needs a place to stay for the night
  • Jen needs a new heating system
  • Jen needs to get a grip
  • Jen needs to flee
  • Jen needs to be punished
  • Jen needs a nice fur-covered dress
  • Jen needs to be reminded that HARRISON FORD appears on her 'Fake Boyfriend'list

Wow! I'm a total fucking wreck!


Blogger Jege (Jen) said...

And, in honor of Amycita's birthday, I ran "Amy needs" through as well:

Amy needs a drug-dealer's testimony to free a teenager wrongfully accused of murder

Amy needs a flu shot

Amy needs a loving, committed family who will provide structure and stability
and have the ability to understand her growing process

Amy needs sex

Amy needs to close her legs and open her mind (okay, these last 2 seem to be in conflict with eachother)

Amy needs a new plan and fast!

Amy needs to access Bill’s in-patient records

Amy needs to wear the processor at all times

Amy needs to maintain her garden

Amy needs to clean her house, get a life and take care of her child

Amy needs to come to the office to sign checks

Amy needs no introduction in sporting circles at the University

Amy needs 25 seconds with the committee chairs

Amy needs more than five driving lessons

Amy needs to go to Burning Man

Wednesday, October 12, 2005 at 9:01:00 AM PDT

Blogger eM said...

this is kind of fun :)

Emily needs a series of exemptions to Harvard’s administrative rules.

Emily needs to know exactly what the girls want when she and Richard "kick the bucket."

EMILY NEEDS A SPONSOR. Emily - a light sable female, about 6 ‡ years old.

emily needs to just shut up or just say it was carly that caused that accident.

Emily needs her prosthesis so if she takes them off, we leave them alone.

Emily needs a forever family who will be patient and consistent.

Emily needs a drink.

Emily needs a special cerificate for her efforts.

Emily needs to be encouraged to make her needs known to the adults around her.

Emily needs to help get the old lady out.

Emily needs you, so get yer game on and get out there.

Wednesday, October 12, 2005 at 9:26:00 AM PDT

Blogger dawn said...

No fair! All I got was Dawn needs a reality check...

Wednesday, October 12, 2005 at 10:00:00 AM PDT

Blogger Jege (Jen) said...

I just googled "Dawn needs" and found these little gems:

Dawn needs to develop more speed endurance

Dawn Needs a Tripod

Dawn Needs to Firm Up Her Group’s Flextime Options

DAWN needs the participation of every jurisdiction in targeted metropolitan areas
and States

Dawn needs a headcount before Thursday of this week so sign up quick!

Dawn needs to get over herself


DAWN needs your help to continue our important work with the Deaf

Dawn needs to purchase 8 coupon books

Dawn needs to die a virgin (HAH!)

dawn needs a cup of coffee every day

Dawn needs a singer in the hard rock/heavy metal styles to front an
energetic, heavy and melodic band

Wednesday, October 12, 2005 at 10:24:00 AM PDT

Blogger kari said...

Kari needs to do something serious and that isn't direct to video
Kari needs to learn how to drive a car at night
Kari needs help with her fashion
Kari needs to prevent her-self from going under
Kari needs a Line Cook
KARI needs an effective system
kari needs high temperature
Kari needs a rest
Kari needs to go run a business someday, perhaps a flower shop
Kari needs to stick with Brad's plan, or at least agree to talk with him before changing their plans.
Kari needs to see the shot.
kari needs the phone *stab*
Kari needs to be a member of the Association.

Wednesday, October 12, 2005 at 10:27:00 AM PDT

Blogger Jege (Jen) said...

I know he's gonna kill me for posting this, but I just HAD to run my husband's name through. And apparently, lots of people out there feel very hostile towards him:

Devin needs a new good home fast!
Devin needs lots of repetition and needs tasks broken down to one or two steps to avoid confusion for him.
Devin needs to be less nerdy
Devin needs structure
Devin needs twenty-thousand dollars to pay off his dad's gambling debt
Devin needs a black, female partner who is willing to be his equal partner, not a diva who is fighting for the floor
Devin needs the support of Bon Jovi and reacts based on that
Devin needs to do some serious soul searching
Devin needs to go away
Devin needs a ferret, so I can steal it.
Devin needs a ride to pick up his booze where he left it, at his friends house
Devin needs to shave as well
Devin needs to improve his ball skills
Devin needs to buy a dictionary
Devin needs to make a topic about pink bunny rabbits, just to freak us out
Devin needs the official numbers for ordering the food!
Devin needs to take a bath and wipe off all his cooties!!
Devin needs to pull the cock out of his mouth and pay attention
Devin needs a very nurturing family who can help him to digest the losses he has experienced while embracing the future
DEVIN Needs a good ole fashion backwoods beating!!!
Devin needs a ride To band practice
Devin needs to host his own show.
Devin needs to be potty trained!!
Devin needs to be smacked for that little HP comment. go ahead KR, smack him!
Devin needs to cut his hair.
Devin needs to stick with production and stop making Music already
Devin needs to spend the next two months with his right hand tied so he gets stronger with his left.
Devin needs 24-hour care

Wednesday, October 12, 2005 at 11:13:00 AM PDT

Blogger kari said...

i'm going to try different phrases. soon to be on my blog: what kari wants.

Wednesday, October 12, 2005 at 5:39:00 PM PDT

Blogger Michele in Michigan said...


Wednesday, October 12, 2005 at 9:12:00 PM PDT

Blogger Jim V said...

James needs posters

James Needs A Hat Petition

James Needs Your Coke

James Needs A Little Help

James Needs To Pick on Campbell's Weaknesses

James needs to have access to a DNS server for domain resolution. (I was just thinking that earlier this morning while I was taking a dump.)

James needs to tell Dave that if he continues to discriminate...

James Needs to Be Protected from Development by Sam Sieber (Sam is such a dick)

James needs to refine virtual hosting for mailet processing. (Well, DUH!!!)

James needs to say this stuff, not his mother, not a spokesperson, and
most definitely not a lawyer.

James Needs Original Music

James needs to get off his fat ass and fix it (does my wife have a website?)

James needs to marry nobility. (Been there, done that.)

James needs some assistance from the blogosphere (I'm counting on all of you...)

James needs to know she's gonna be there. If she says she'll tape Star
Trek: Voyager for him...

James was impaling himself on his rubber friend with his door open. (I barely remember doing this, don't hold it against me).

James needs to learn how to spell. (I take a fence to that)

James needs to learn how to read books on his own. (I read Curious George Gets A Bike all by myself last night)

James needs some of the corners rounded off his "square" personality.

James Needs to fall asleep before he's finished.

Thursday, October 13, 2005 at 9:59:00 AM PDT

Blogger Jege (Jen) said...

Bravo, Jim! I'll tape Star Trek Voyager for you. No WAIT!!! What am I saying? I HATE Star Trek!!! Well, except for that one Star Trek movie with Malcolm Macdowell in it...he's a damn handsome older man.

Thursday, October 13, 2005 at 11:31:00 AM PDT

Blogger kari said...

and what does Dustin need?
Dustin needs our prayers
Dustin needs someone from 2-3:30 on Friday to tell the candidates that they are leading tours correctly
Dustin needs to be physically carried, have special foods prepared and to be given his medications
Dustin needs a highly structured setting with a safe and consistent environment
Dustin needs to meet with Keila after the meeting
Dustin needs to tell Hunter something
Dustin needs more than spotting a bead of sweat
Dustin needs car to grab food at 10:30
Dustin needs is the right record company
Dustin needs to move on

Saturday, October 15, 2005 at 8:27:00 PM PDT

Blogger Jege (Jen) said...

Since Devin and Dustin have such interesting needs, I thought I should run Dylan through as well:

Dylan needs an interactive love machine
Dylan needs to learn communication skills using a picture board
Dylan needs some walking tonight, evidently.
Dylan needs to be torn down and rebuilt from scratch if it wants to be thought of as a high end hotel.
dylan needs a laxative.
Dylan needs a new crew pronto.
Dylan needs to stop dropping his shoulder on the reverse scissors.
Dylan needs that back hair for sun protection and to keep him warm at night.
Dylan needs a spanking cuz he pulled my snickles.
Dylan needs you to fix his sled.
Dylan needs to study for his SATs and Steve has detention.
Dylan needs a guy who finds it inspiring to be playing with Dylan every night, and can translate that experience.
Dylan needs a powerful optimizer to produce efficient code.
Dylan Needs some formatting
Dylan needs suctioning throughout the night.
Dylan needs to go smoke a joint.....and shut the F up.
Dylan needs constant supervision.
Dylan needs to be sat with his back to the door and facing away from windows.
Dylan needs to supervise guests on his ship better and stop letting his crew invite their friends to sleep over.
Dylan needs to poop and can't hold it till a gas station.
Dylan needs to be home by 7:30.

Saturday, October 15, 2005 at 9:01:00 PM PDT


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