See You In Hell!

Friday, September 08, 2006

One from the archives..

The son of my dear friends Dawn & Eric will be turning 6 soon, and when I asked him about this, he said to me: "Jege, I will be six on my birthday, but right NOW I am five-and-three-quarters".

It's a world of difference at that age, five versus five-and-three-quarters. I remember when I had just turned seven, and we were over at one of my parents' friends' houses. They had a daughter "just my age" according to my dad, who was trying to reassure me that I would not be bored out of my skull while the adults swilled sangria on the backyard deck, and discussed Annie Hall.

So they introduced me to the "just my age" girl, and left us there to play.

"How old are you?" she asked, hand on hip.

"Seven" I replied.

"WELL." She said in the tone of an annoyed socialite, "I am SEVEN-AND-A-HALF, and I take RIDING LESSONS".

I was immediately furious with my dad; "Just my age" my ASS!!!!! She's seven-and-a-fucking-HALF!!!! And riding lessons? PLEASE.

"Riding lessons, huh?" I observed innocently "Like on your broom?"

It was a lonnnnnnng afternoon.

5 Comments:

Blogger Crystal said...

well, i am 27 and 3/4 and i can throw back 6 shots of tequila before puking on my shoes.

Friday, September 8, 2006 at 2:19:00 PM PDT

 
Blogger The Captain said...

Jege, even as a seven-year-old, you brought it! :)

Friday, September 8, 2006 at 3:52:00 PM PDT

 
Blogger goldennib said...

The genius showed even then.

Friday, September 8, 2006 at 5:26:00 PM PDT

 
Blogger Jege (Jen) said...

Aw shucks, y'all are too kind.

My 4th grade teacher called it "Smart-assed irreverence", but I prefer to call it "not suffering fools lightly".

Monday, September 11, 2006 at 11:19:00 AM PDT

 
Anonymous gunnlino said...

Ya see some of us suffer from that annoying handicap of thinking of those poison arrow comebacks, Oh, maybe about an hour afterwards. Then we say boy I could've nailed 'em if I had only........

Tuesday, September 19, 2006 at 9:04:00 PM PDT

 

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