Yep, she's my niece all right:

Jege's photos du jour

Phil Hartman was a god:

Of weighty medleys and ruinous passions....

Just got this spam email. Someone with an interesting take on the English language and a thesaurus spent a LOT of time on this one:

Anatrim – The latest and most exciting product for weighty people (weighty...such a popular American word) is made available now – As could be seen on Oprah. (COULD be seen? When will we know for sure?) Can you retain all the times when you told yourself you would do anything for being delivered from this quickly growing number of kilos? (DO I!!! It's like you're reading my mind!!) Happily, now no major sacrifice is demanded. (well thank god! I'll send the virgins back) With Anatrim, the earth-shaking kilos-melting medley, (You don't see many good earth-shaking medleys around anymore. Why is that?) you can get healthier mode of life and become really thinner. Just look at what people state!

"I hate to confess but I was an awful food addict. I ate all this garbage and was unable to stop. This ruinous passion (yes, Ruinous passion) stopped when I started course with Anatrim! Oh, God, my appetite disappeared, mood improved and I’m the happiest person 26 pounds in 2.4 months. So, I can tell you now I turned to the happiest person!" (I get it, I get it, she's the happiest person) -Victoria K., Bellevue WA

"Since the very childhood I was a weighty boy. (See? "Weighty" is the new black. Mark my words.) It’s pretty hard to imagine how I abhorred being ridiculed at school (Now I'm no expert, but one would think that it would be fairly EASY to imagine that a person would abhor being ridiculed..unless you're into that sort of thing.) I detested my stoutness (such a common complaint amongst American men today...detesting one's stoutness. It's even Maxim's cover story. Check it out.) and I hated myself. After trying many different remedies I learned about Anatrim. It literally dragged me out of this fearful nightmare! (yep. Fearful nightmare. DRRRAAAGGGEED him right out. True story.) Many thanks and a great respect to you, guys." -Steve Doubt (with a name like Steve Doubt, no wonder he detests his stoutness), Colorado

"Do you know what? Thanks to Anatrim my marriage was saved! I fell down into this circle, (I hate it when people just leave their circles lying around. Someone can fall into them, you know!!!) depression – more eating – more depression. My wife was going to leave the overweight psycho I was turning in. (turning in? to whom? The police? Richard Simmons? WHO?! Is there a reward?) Once my friend pointed to your web page and I ordered pack of Anatrim immediately. The results were splendid, my appetite came to acceptable level, I was in a good mood oftener (Oftener!!!) and, certainly, I went some belt holes back. (Well, DUH.) And you see, the sex became fantastic, too! (you see?!! DO you????)" -Steve (HEY......is this Steve Doubt again? You already had your turn, buddy).

There is a great number of gratitudes (who's writing this? The Russian version of HAL 2000?) left by delighted people taking Anatrim. Don’t you gonna join the tens of thousands of slender customers and take this original appetite suppressing energy raising product now? (well, don't you gonna?!) Don’t lose the opportunity!

Bad Deja Vu

On Friday, November 1, 1991, I was living in Iowa City, IA, working at my first official post-college Architecture job.

Earlier that morning, a friend of mine & I had attempted to drive up to Fargo with plans of seeing the Gear Daddies perform, but after driving for less that an hour, we realized that the ice storm that had been slowly making its way across Iowa was insurmountable. We headed back. And we went back to work.

Sometime after 3:00, the mid-afternoon doldrums set in, and I left the office and scurried across the pedestrian mall to a nearby coffee shop for an infusion of caffeine. Now, anyone who knows Iowa City knows that the downtown and the University of Iowa blend together, blurring all distinction between University and City. In fact, just 1 block away from the coffee shop where I was eagerly watching a barista make my nonfat triple shot mocha, was a cluster of University buildings that I walked by nearly every day on my way to work. Lecture halls, I think they were. I couldn't be sure, since my view of Iowa City was from the eyes of a (first-time) young professional taxpayer, and not a student.

Anyway, after pausing for awhile to chat with a coworker who was also tending to his mid-afternoon work lull, I decided to make my way, jacket-less, across the cold, windy pedestrian mall back to the office. I moved quickly, cradling what was left of my warm coffee between my cold hands. But things outside seemed different. There was almost no one around, and there were police sirens in the distance. The tension in the air was palpable, and something seemed, well, awry. I spun around, and ended up facing the direction of the university buildings. Through the tiny snowflakes that had just began to swirl crazily around, I could see a couple of people, also coatless, running to the west. Perhaps they too were also going to get some coffee. Then I scurried back into the warmth of my office.

An hour or so later we found out. At around 3:30, Gang Lu, a U of I graduate student, had shot six people not two blocks from our office. Four of the victims were professors & administrators with whom Lu had grievances, one was a fellow PhD student, and one was a young secretary in the office of academic affairs. Five of the six died, and the lone survivor (the secretary) was rendered a quadriplegic. Then Lu turned the gun on himself.

I just wish, since Lu was obviously planning on killing himself anyway, he could have done that part first.

I don't know where this came from, but I like it:

An Inconvenient Truth, Vonnegut-style

Author Kurt Vonnegut died yesterday at age 84.

Vonnegut said the villains in his books were never individuals, but culture, society and history, which he said were making a mess of the planet.

"We probably could have saved ourselves, but we were too damned lazy to try very hard... and too damn cheap," he once suggested carving into a wall on the Grand Canyon, as a message for flying-saucer creatures after we humans have long since destroyed the planet.

Despite the fact he was one of my favorite authors, I'd like to be able to prove him wrong on that point.

Jesus' Blog !!

Okay. Based on my sacrilicious Jesus pictures, I know you probably think that this is something I wrote, but it's not.
Behold... JESUS' BLOG

I wish I knew who to thank for making it (God, perhaps?).

WOLVERINES!!!

Red Dawn was on TV this weekend, and I found myself hopelessly entranced by its preposterous plot and trite dialogue...it was even worse than the last time I'd seen it, sometime in the early '90s.

Anyway, I couldn't help but wonder what a different movie it would have been if they hadn't been allowed to use the words "You boys". There would be no "You boys get as much food and sleeping bags as you can carry", or "you boys stay up in them mountains and don't come down", or "you boys be careful" etc.

Also, I found it positively terrifying that I KNEW so much of the dialogue...that movie quotes from this possible predecessor to "snakes on a plane" occupied so much of my grey matter:

"You think you're so smart, man, but you're just a bunch of scared kids."

"You're getting pretty low on feelings, aren't you? (answer: I can't afford them)."

"All that hate's gonna burn you up, kid. (answer: It keeps me warm). "

"Tell me what's the difference between us and them? (answer: Because WE LIVE HERE!)."

"AVENGE ME, BOYS! AVEEEEEEENGE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

"Don't CRY! Just let it turn to somethin' else, man. Turn...To...Somethin'...Else. Let it turn...let it turn..."


Wolverines, indeed.

Fun with space-planning

During lunch today, I decided to redesign the floorplan of my corner of the office. Whaddaya think?